Just a short, barely-coherent rant.
In light of the mess around Lena Dunham’s bullshit with O’Dell Beckham, and how it just reminds me that Black men should be leaving these white women (and gays) alone, it just makes me think back to the days I still carried an affinity for pasty dick…particularly the ones that fetishized being in a Black person.
…more so, the number of times I had my Blackness questioned, or was called things like “chocolate,” “Oreo,” “Hot Black ass”…and even a flat-out “nigga/nigger”…and worse, how, anytime I objected to them addressing me that way, they never accepted responsibility, apologized or even gave a hint that they would stop. They ALWAYS tried to turn it around on me and make me out to be the one with with problem.
wypipo have such an entitlement to Black folks, and have dehumanized us so much, that they really believe we should be taking their racialized remarks about us as compliments and be flattered. They can’t wrap their heads around the notion that some Black people actually have no interest in that kind of attention (let alone any attention, at all, from them).
Not to mention, the extra-abusive white people who fetishize Black folks, while holding socio-political views that are directly harmful to Black people. I’ll never forget this white dude who went from fawning all over me (primarily because I’m Black) to chastizing me for daring to call him out on how he puts all blame for the issues plaguing Black communities squarely on Black people, themselves, and not on systemic racism/white supremacy.
It’s a lesson I had to learn over and over again throughout my 20’s, but it finally cemented, just in the last year or so. I gave up trying to be one of those “we-are-the-world” Black Gays and have started centering myself around other Black Queer folks, and still leaving a little room for non-Black folks who have proven capable of not being less than shit. Life’s been less annoying since then.
Leave the toxic mayo behind and prosper. ☕