Y’all have long been asking for it, and it’s Pride Month 2019. So, I figured it’s the right time to finally get this one out of the drafts. These are just a few of my best bottoming tips for beginners. Let’s dive right in (pun intended)!
Have a partner who’s not an asshole
(Pun not intended, here)
While I don’t think a romantic, or otherwise conventionally “deep,” connection is necessary to have great sex, I do think good sexual chemistry with partners matters a lot (and let’s be clear that sexual and romantic connections aren’t one and the same). And ensuring you’re with someone who will be empathetic and patient, and (understanding that you’re new to this) will prioritize your pleasure. Having someone who can routinely check in, ask how you’re feeling, listen to basic cues, read body language, make necessary adjustments, etc. will make for a much smoother experience.
Don’t believe the lie that sex has to be bad the first time. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you should settle into it and it shouldn’t be outright painful.
Lube. Lube. Lube.
Someday, you might graduate to the level where spit is all you need…but that day is not today. Use lube. Periodt.
There’s several types of lube, but silicone-based and water-based are the main kinds that are compatible with condoms (if you’re planning on wrapping up) and they work great for condomless sex as well. So, those two types are your best bet, all-around. When starting out, use as much as you need until you reach the ideal slickness…this is subjective. But if it feels dry, don’t be shy with slathering more on until it feels comfortable.
You don’t “know your body”…use the damn enema
There are probably only 0.8% of folks who bottom anally without ever having to clean out in any capacity. I’m not one of them, even at my big age, and you’re not, either. So, yes…clean out. And even if you “feel” like you’re clean, it doesn’t hurt to just give yourself a quick blast of water just to check. Way better to do that than, well…the alternative (more on that below).
Many folks will tell you to go to a pharmacy and pick up a Fleet enema. I’m not one of them. Mind you, they’re OK to use, but you absolutely wanna pour out the included solution and replace it with regular water. For anal, clean water is all you need. That being said, I find the better alternative to simply be a reusable enema bulb. You can easily find one via Google. And unlike a Fleet, reusable bulbs are a one-time purchase that will last you for a while.
Now, if you really want a deep cleaning, look up the shower shot. As the name implies, it’s an enema that attaches to your shower head, and provides an endless stream to really get all of the grime out. There are kinds that can be attached directly to the plumbing, and kinds that are a pouch that simply wrap around the shower head. It’s a matter of preference, but I like the latter, as it’s easier to travel with.
I prefer to use a simple, reusable bulb, as you don’t really need that deep cleaning for more general purposes. But for an especially “busy” weekend or night? Might wanna go in that direction. A regular cleaning can take 10-20 mins. A deep cleaning can be 45 mins to 2 hours.
Bidets are also a good option, but I don’t have experience to give personalized advice on it (yet). Google if that’s an option you wanna explore.
Also, before cleaning out, you wanna have a natural bowel movement and get as much of it out on your own as you can.
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