Angry Black Hoemo

Just a guy, striving to be a good person and an even better bottom

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Bottoming 101 (Patreon Preview)

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Y’all have long been asking for it, and it’s Pride Month 2019. So, I figured it’s the right time to finally get this one out of the drafts. These are just a few of my best bottoming tips for beginners. Let’s dive right in (pun intended)!

Have a partner who’s not an asshole

(Pun not intended, here)

While I don’t think a romantic, or otherwise conventionally “deep,” connection is necessary to have great sex, I do think good sexual chemistry with partners matters a lot (and let’s be clear that sexual and romantic connections aren’t one and the same). And ensuring you’re with someone who will be empathetic and patient, and (understanding that you’re new to this) will prioritize your pleasure. Having someone who can routinely check in, ask how you’re feeling, listen to basic cues, read body language, make necessary adjustments, etc. will make for a much smoother experience.

Don’t believe the lie that sex has to be bad the first time. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you should settle into it and it shouldn’t be outright painful.

Lube. Lube. Lube.

Someday, you might graduate to the level where spit is all you need…but that day is not today. Use lube. Periodt. [Read more…]

Total Tops Are Cancelled for 2018

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At 30 years old, I’ve been on this “Gay thot” shit for a good while and have amassed a lot of observations about Gay sexuality and how we tend to operate. It’s mostly been some great, if not epic, times had, but man…

To paraphrase SZA, top niggas do not deserve bussy.

I wanna close out 2017 by calling in all of you total tops and highlight a few of your common behaviors that you really need to cut. Bottoms are fed up, and it’s time for you to do better or get left assless.

Let’s plunge right into it (FYI, this piece might have a few puns…you’re gonna deal with that).

[Read more…]

6 Common Gay Cruising Behaviors That I’ll Never Understand

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As a sexually liberated Gay man, there’s one staple of “Gay culture” that I’ve been quite fond of over the years: Cruising. Cruising has given me opportunities to explore myself sexually and, in turn, learn about myself, as a whole (or a whole hoe…either works). Not to mention, it just makes sex that much more fun. However, there’s a few common things I’ve seen and experienced in cruising spaces that confuse me, if not put me off. I feel like I’m not alone in any of these, so let’s share:

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Homos, Can We Fuck Without Gender Roles?

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It’s time to gently get to the bottom of all this Gay patriarchy (hehe…bottom).

So, I’ve been at this thot life for over a decade, now. And as someone who’s officially a fossil in “Gay Years” (i.e. 30 years old), I’ve amassed a good, collective idea of how men in “the scene” tend to carry out sexuality.

As anyone who’s followed my work knows, I’m all about relating everyday, “minor” shit to the systems that directly contribute to keeping folks oppressed. So, I wanna touch on the gender binary & patriarchy and how they’re internalized among Gay/Queer/SGL men.

Many of us homos are familiar with this persistent need to designate “The Man” and “The Woman” in any kind of pairing between two people of the same gender. With regards to men, the Bottom (the party who engages in the receptive position during intercourse) is considered “The Woman.” The Top (the party who engages in the penetrative position) is considered “The Man.”  This patriarchal mentality has materialized itself in many different ways that are impossible to cover in one piece, by one person. But I’m gonna go over just some of the ways this tends to affect us sexually, since, again, I’ve got well over a decade of experience in that area. [Read more…]

The Bigots Are Right: The HIV Epidemic Among Black, Gay Men is from Immorality

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…but not in the way they’d like to think.

So, at the time of this being published, we’re 2 weeks from National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I think this is as good of a time as any to finally do a piece tackling the subject of HIV/AIDS among Black men who sleep with men (or MSM in scientific terms). I was motivated to write about this after coming across this documentary on the epidemic levels of HIV among Black, Gay men in Jackson, MS. This started as a thread on Twitter, but I felt this topic was more than due the attention of a full post.

Plus, I just recently passed my 3-year “Poz-aversary” (yes…I just made that up), so I’ll always be heavily invested.


Thanks to follower Taji for sending me this great documentary

When we talk about the HIV/AIDS epidemic among Gay men, in general, there’s often an air of (homophobia-driven) judgement and condescension, dripping with implications that any of us who contract the virus “deserve it” for our “immoral” behavior. And when you add in the racism of addressing Black, Gay men, that attitude only grows…even from other Gay men.

Now, for argument’s sake, let’s entertain that this idea of HIV being an issue of “immorality” among us, might actually have some merit, and isn’t complete and total bullshit. Even if we wanted to go along with that idea, that perhaps, Black Gay men see higher rates of HIV/AIDS due to “immorality,” well…maybe so…but it’s not immorality on our part. [Read more…]