Angry Black Hoemo

Just a guy, striving to be a good person and an even better bottom

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Bottoming 101 (Patreon Preview)

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Y’all have long been asking for it, and it’s Pride Month 2019. So, I figured it’s the right time to finally get this one out of the drafts. These are just a few of my best bottoming tips for beginners. Let’s dive right in (pun intended)!

Have a partner who’s not an asshole

(Pun not intended, here)

While I don’t think a romantic, or otherwise conventionally “deep,” connection is necessary to have great sex, I do think good sexual chemistry with partners matters a lot (and let’s be clear that sexual and romantic connections aren’t one and the same). And ensuring you’re with someone who will be empathetic and patient, and (understanding that you’re new to this) will prioritize your pleasure. Having someone who can routinely check in, ask how you’re feeling, listen to basic cues, read body language, make necessary adjustments, etc. will make for a much smoother experience.

Don’t believe the lie that sex has to be bad the first time. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you should settle into it and it shouldn’t be outright painful.

Lube. Lube. Lube.

Someday, you might graduate to the level where spit is all you need…but that day is not today. Use lube. Periodt. [Read more…]

Navigating Friendships with Non-LGBTQ People

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A PSA for my fellow Gay men, and perhaps anyone else in the LGBTQ community.

I’m gonna start this by laying out a little scenario:

Let’s say you’re a Gay man who primarily has non-LGBTQ (a.k.a. cisgender-heterosexual or “straight”) men as friends (which you likely applaud yourself for, daily…but that’s another issue). Y’all are just casually hanging out and they’re all talking about sex. They’re exchanging stories of their recent “conquests,” and are having an absolute ki. And then, you try to chime about your last sexual experience, in the exact same way that they just did.

…but you feel the good vibes noticeably drop. It gets awkward, and you immediately get the hint that you should back off from your story. You deflate, retreat into your own head (where you’ll likely quietly replay that moment in a cringeworthy loop), and let them take back over the conversation.

This is likely not an unfamiliar experience for Gay men who hang around folks who are non-LGBTQ. And many people’s go-to response may be to just roll with it and not see it as a big deal. But let’s be clear about one thing: [Read more…]

6 Common Gay Cruising Behaviors That I’ll Never Understand

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As a sexually liberated Gay man, there’s one staple of “Gay culture” that I’ve been quite fond of over the years: Cruising. Cruising has given me opportunities to explore myself sexually and, in turn, learn about myself, as a whole (or a whole hoe…either works). Not to mention, it just makes sex that much more fun. However, there’s a few common things I’ve seen and experienced in cruising spaces that confuse me, if not put me off. I feel like I’m not alone in any of these, so let’s share:

[Read more…]

@angryblackhomo > @_hoemo

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Disclaimer: This will be mostly semi-coherent rambling

…so, only mildly different than my usual posts. lol

If you’re reading this, you already know the hoteps and/or yt supremacists finally got me and @angryblackhoemo is no more.

No, really…it’s definitely no more. lol

In response to my (what appears to be permanent) suspension from Twitter, just putting this out there to answer the questions that have come up:

1) I have no idea what, specifically, caused my suspension…in most cases, no one does. The reason cited by Twitter (non-)support was “targeted abuse.” Nothing more, nothing less. Twitter is deliberately vague about how their policies are implemented. Often times on these white male-owned platforms, POC/LGBTQ folks pushing back against bigots is seen as “abusive behavior” and Twitter will respond by reprimanding us (while often letting white supremacists & homophobes go, unchecked). I probably just told one homophobe too many to drink bleach.

2) The response I got seemed pretty clear that “@angryblackhoemo” is gone and it ain’t coming back. Hoteps/yt supremacists rejoice!

3) Yes, the new account is here…however…

Rethinking how I use Twitter is something I’ve long known I need to do, but now I’m in a position where I’m kinda forced to do it. I have no interest in doing things the same way as I did with @angryblackhoemo. Rebuilding all of the content and connections is a daunting task, in and of itself…but even more so when I know it’d ultimately just result in the same thing. Problematic shit that I’ve had to unlearn notwithstanding, I don’t regret much of anything I expressed on Twitter via @angryblackhoemo. Given that, I’d be engaging the same way, so no use even investing all of that creative energy.

Plus, I’ve been saying for the longest that *we* willingly hand over too much content to these white/male-owned platforms that clearly see us as vessels for exploitation and abuse. I’m not sure I wanna practically beg to be granted space in those kinds of environments. Twitter, Facebook at al don’t deserve our brilliance.

I considered not bothering with returning, but, for my experience, the positives of the platform (engagement, being on top of current events, learning so many new perspectives, rapid communication, etc.) outweigh the negatives. Not to mention, in today’s climate, I’m not sure I can truly and effectively do what I do without some kind of presenence on Twitter. So I’m definitely rethinking ways to better utilize the platform to ultimately keep ownership of my content (i.e. rerouting traffic to my blog). Hell, I might just end up going right back to old social media habits and prove this to all be bullshit. lol

Still mulling it all over, but it lowkey feels like a fresh start. With @angryblackhoemo, everything was very much by the seat of my pants, figuring it out as I go. In this instance, I’m basically beginning with a lot of shit figured out. So we’ll see how it goes. Part of me actually feels a sense of clarity and an opportunity to breathe…and that’s the part that feels better than the hurt and panic of losing ~133 thousand tweets and over 12,000 followers in the blink of an eye. So why not go with the positive?

Still thinking…you’ll know once I do.

For now, feel free to follow the new account, tho (I reserve the right to change the @ at any given moment, tho).

 

Quick Holiday PSA to Black Activists: CHECK YOUR FAM!

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The topic came up on Twitter tonight, so thought I’d throw together a quick reminder for y’all. We’ve tasked white “allies” with no longer allowing their family’s casual racism to go unchecked…after all, that kind of silent compliance is what made way for the wide acceptance of Trump. But in turn, we Black folks need to take it upon ourselves to do the same with our own families. While many of y’all will get on social media and talk about how white people silently let their family spew white supremacist rhetoric, a lot of y’all are at currently at home, doing the same with your relatives.

Reminder that 13% of Black men voted for Donald Trump…we can’t erase the fact that his xenophobic messaging resonated among many of us. And I’d wager that his message wasn’t even entirely repulsive to all of the Black folks who voted for Clinton. Also, we can’t pretend like anti-Mexican/Latinx/Asian/Arab/etc rhetoric doesn’t commonly slip from the mouths of our elders…or that we didn’t have to deprogram it within ourselves. [Read more…]