Sexual Health – Angry Black Hoemo

Bottoming 101 (Patreon Preview)

June 4, 2019 by Angry Black HoeMo

Y’all have long been asking for it, and it’s Pride Month 2019. So, I figured it’s the right time to finally get this one out of the drafts. These are just a few of my best bottoming tips for beginners. Let’s dive right in (pun intended)!

Have a partner who’s not an asshole

(Pun not intended, here)

While I don’t think a romantic, or otherwise conventionally “deep,” connection is necessary to have great sex, I do think good sexual chemistry with partners matters a lot (and let’s be clear that sexual and romantic connections aren’t one and the same). And ensuring you’re with someone who will be empathetic and patient, and (understanding that you’re new to this) will prioritize your pleasure. Having someone who can routinely check in, ask how you’re feeling, listen to basic cues, read body language, make necessary adjustments, etc. will make for a much smoother experience.

Don’t believe the lie that sex has to be bad the first time. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you should settle into it and it shouldn’t be outright painful.

Lube. Lube. Lube.

Someday, you might graduate to the level where spit is all you need…but that day is not today. Use lube. Periodt. [Read more…]

HIV Stigma: A(nother) Tool of Homophobia & Direct Enemy of Prevention

June 6, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

It didn’t even take one week on the new Twitter account for representatives from the Child Support Is the Enemy of The Black Man™ contingent of Twitter to make its way into my mentions with this mess:

First of all, if you’re referring to HIV as “the finisher” in 2017, you have no room in these conversations. It’s been commonly known, for years, that HIV, when diagnosed and treated early, can yield normal life expectancy. Never mind that it’s probably AIDS that you’re thinking about, not HIV. For that matter, if you still don’t know that HIV & AIDS aren’t the same thing, you should also have a few seats. Also, people who imply that HIV+ people “deserve” to die because of “sexual deviancy” are their own, special brand of evil.

Second, I see this kind of rhetoric from cishets regularly. It plagued my mentions on @angryblackhoemo, and will likely follow me, for as long as I have a social media presence, in general. But let’s be perfectly clear: this has absolutely nothing to do with “concern” or HIV prevention. [Read more…]

The Bigots Are Right: The HIV Epidemic Among Black, Gay Men is from Immorality

January 24, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

…but not in the way they’d like to think.

So, at the time of this being published, we’re 2 weeks from National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I think this is as good of a time as any to finally do a piece tackling the subject of HIV/AIDS among Black men who sleep with men (or MSM in scientific terms). I was motivated to write about this after coming across this documentary on the epidemic levels of HIV among Black, Gay men in Jackson, MS. This started as a thread on Twitter, but I felt this topic was more than due the attention of a full post.

Plus, I just recently passed my 3-year “Poz-aversary” (yes…I just made that up), so I’ll always be heavily invested.

Thanks to follower Taji for sending me this great documentary

When we talk about the HIV/AIDS epidemic among Gay men, in general, there’s often an air of (homophobia-driven) judgement and condescension, dripping with implications that any of us who contract the virus “deserve it” for our “immoral” behavior. And when you add in the racism of addressing Black, Gay men, that attitude only grows…even from other Gay men.

Now, for argument’s sake, let’s entertain that this idea of HIV being an issue of “immorality” among us, might actually have some merit, and isn’t complete and total bullshit. Even if we wanted to go along with that idea, that perhaps, Black Gay men see higher rates of HIV/AIDS due to “immorality,” well…maybe so…but it’s not immorality on our part. [Read more…]