Archives for July 2017

No, People Having A Problem with “Race Play” Is Not Kink-Shaming

July 19, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

I’ll just start this off by being 100% clear that I absolutely support the right of anyone, of sound mind and maturity, to consent to whatever it is that they wanna do. “Race Play” is no exception to this. If you’re a white man whose dick gets hard via calling a Black man “nigger,” go for it. If you’re a Black man who gets off from having a white man call you all the slurs, have at! Part of my sex-positive politic is people having whatever kind of sex or play that fulfills them. For me, the more of a grasp you get on the essence of consent, the easier this all becomes.

Now, that being said, (in my opinion) “Race Play” is trash. Racial fetishizing is trash. Simple as that. It’s all absolute trash.

Unlike most other commonly practiced forms of Kink, I don’t believe “race play” can be explored in a healthy way. If you’re not equipped to address the real, overarching issues around race and white supremacy, then how can you possibly sexualize it healthily? Also, in my experience, no one who has the range to fully confront ALL of the realities around race (white people included) can comfortably sexualize it. I’m yet to come across anyone who has made it past surface level, white-centered activism, but loves “race play.” It just hasn’t happened. [Read more…]

Black LGBTQ People Don’t Owe Anyone Our Patience

July 14, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

It sometimes feels like many people are more compelled to speak up when it comes time to rationalize bigotry, rather than speaking against the bigotry, itself.

Let’s talk about how, as Black LGBTQ people, we’re expected to make room for, and be “patient” with, violent bigotry. Particularly, in a way that those trying to guilt us virtually never have to.

Despite the fact that WhiteGayze™ have subjected Black folks within the LGBTQ community to dehumanization, theft and erasure for decades, we’re still expected to perform some sort of unity, which only serves to placate their fragility. WhiteGayze™ are never expected to be patient with violent, anti-Gay bigotry towards them (although, they often are…because they’re weak as shit). But somehow, we’re supposed to be OK with their racism. Or, we’re expected to exhibit patience and explain to them why they’re trash “nicely” (i.e. in a way that’s easy to ignore). Funny how that works.

If we’re not getting it from the WhiteGayze™, we’re getting it from Black cishets (and sometimes other Black LGBTQ people, who haven’t yet put down the cishet Kool-Aid). [Read more…]

6 Common Gay Cruising Behaviors That I’ll Never Understand

July 10, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

As a sexually liberated Gay man, there’s one staple of “Gay culture” that I’ve been quite fond of over the years: Cruising. Cruising has given me opportunities to explore myself sexually and, in turn, learn about myself, as a whole (or a whole hoe…either works). Not to mention, it just makes sex that much more fun. However, there’s a few common things I’ve seen and experienced in cruising spaces that confuse me, if not put me off. I feel like I’m not alone in any of these, so let’s share:

[Read more…]