This is actually something that, after years of explaining, I’ve grown entirely bored with. However, this is a topic that comes up over and over again. So I want to give it a place on my blog for posterity.
RE: “I love Gay people. I just disagree with their lifestyle.”
First of all, falsely characterizing my sexual identity as a “lifestyle” that can be disagreed with is trash from the outset. Who I’m sexually and romantically attracted to is not a “lifestyle.” It’s simply who I’m sexually and romantically attracted to. Is there a such thing as a (Black) Gay culture and community? Absolutely, but Black Gay and Queer folks aren’t synonymous with that. Similarly to Black people, as a whole, Gay/Queer/SGL folks are not a monolith. Attraction to the same sex isn’t always synonymous with whatever your stereotypical ideas of Queerness are.
But beyond that, no…you don’t “disagree with” Queerness. “Disagreeing” with something that’s innate and exists outside of your own, personal mindset is a ridiculous concept to begin with.
What you actually mean is that you dislike (or more precisely, HATE) Queerness and are bigoted against it. [Read more…]
In the wake of several instances of Black Gay/Queer men and boys who losing their lives due to interpersonal and systemic violence, I decided to do a 3-part series going over a couple of particular cases that have stuck out to me, the systemic factors that led to them taking place, and the overall response to them. I’ll start off with one of the most recent cases (as of this piece being written).
[Trigger/Content Warning for anti-LGBTQ violence/murder]
On November 2, 2017, a young Black Gay teen named Giovanni Melton was murdered by his own father. This happened because Giovanni’s father “disagreed” with his sexual identity and couldn’t handle having a Gay son. There are so many layers to this that it’s hard know where to begin. And I don’t believe I’ll even be able to touch on every aspect. But one central takeaway from this whole situation: Black Gay/LGBTQ bodies are undervalued and left behind. Even in this era of so-called “Intersectionality.”
First, I believe that the widespread notion that LGBTQ identities are a simply some idea that be “disagreed” with heavily contributes to this. All of the propaganda in church of “hate the sin, love the sinner.” The posts on social media casually asking baiting questions like “what would you do if this was your son?” The way people relentlessly debase men who do anything that doesn’t fall in line with this colonized idea of masculinity. Making AIDS “jokes” at the expense of Gay/Queer men. All of these things are factors, and all of the people who contribute are complicit. [Read more…]
Firstly, TW & CW (Trigger and Content Warning) for sexual assault of young boys
Recently, rapper and anti-Gay sewer rat, Lil Boosie, made a post on Instagram, openly talking about the “gift” he’s planning on giving his (underage) son for his birthday:
Now, obviously, the most pressing issue here is the fact that a “father” is essentially forcing his young son to have sex, with no thought to this boy’s own sexual autonomy. The implication is also that Boosie would be using an adult woman for this “service.” For those who are just catching up to the basics of consent, this is child rape. I’m an abolitionist, and really not one of advocate for feeding the prison industrial complex, but…Boosie really pushes it. Like…wow.
But in this piece, I wanna expand on a point made by one of my mutuals on Twitter, about how how this practice is rooted in hatred of Gay people. Let’s be clear that men who force their sons to exhibit toxic masculinity at an early age do so, primarily because they don’t want them to display any kind of association with Gayness. [Read more…]
It sometimes feels like many people are more compelled to speak up when it comes time to rationalize bigotry, rather than speaking against the bigotry, itself.
Let’s talk about how, as Black LGBTQ people, we’re expected to make room for, and be “patient” with, violent bigotry. Particularly, in a way that those trying to guilt us virtually never have to.
Despite the fact that WhiteGayze™ have subjected Black folks within the LGBTQ community to dehumanization, theft and erasure for decades, we’re still expected to perform some sort of unity, which only serves to placate their fragility. WhiteGayze™ are never expected to be patient with violent, anti-Gay bigotry towards them (although, they often are…because they’re weak as shit). But somehow, we’re supposed to be OK with their racism. Or, we’re expected to exhibit patience and explain to them why they’re trash “nicely” (i.e. in a way that’s easy to ignore). Funny how that works.
If we’re not getting it from the WhiteGayze™, we’re getting it from Black cishets (and sometimes other Black LGBTQ people, who haven’t yet put down the cishet Kool-Aid). [Read more…]