Recently, an article was published via Guardian, examining the whole “No Blacks, No Asians” issue among gay men. It was the latest in a semi-wave of articles being written over the last couple of years, largely by white, gay men, examining the issue. The article, for the most part, wasn’t terrible (not at all groundbreaking, to anyone who’s been paying attention, though). It was a 101 intro to racism in the gay community…but for me, that’s part of the issue…but of course, I’ve been wanting us all to get out of the kiddie pool of social justice for a while. Additionally, looking on Twitter, the author’s responses to the fair and legit criticisms from POC have been telling, if not typical. There’s this expectation from white people that, just the most basic acts of “allyship” puts one above reproach. I’ve discussed my issues with “allyship” in pieces throughout this site, so no need to dive into it, here, but this just all feels very familiar…and old.
The article, as well as the fallout around it, just got me thinking about the larger issue of how the “No Blacks, No Asians” convo has almost gone mainstream, and all of the issues that have arisen with that.
First, I’ve been talking about this issue of white gay men outright excluding (and/or fetishizing) Black men since college…years before I even knew about terms like “social justice” or “intersectionality.” This shit isn’t remotely new or groundbreaking for me, or millions of others, like me. Neither is the fact I’d been getting verbally berated and stomped on for it, the entire time. I, and so many other Black Queer folks, spent years (decades, really) doing the leg work of analyzing, examining and calling out these issues, yet now I’m seeing the conversation be somewhat colonized by WhiteGayze™. Seems like it’s been them getting the space to speak on the “No Blacks, No Asians” issue, now that it’s gained more traction as being an issue in the gay community.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a slight away about it.
Instead of seeing the extensive work of LGBTQ POC in covering the issue, including us getting the platform to discuss our own experiences on a larger stage, I’m seeing it come from largely white (if not white-passing), gay men…white, gay men who are largely regurgitating the work of the former (and that Guardian article is absolutely just a compilation of POC thoughts…who likely weren’t paid, by the way). And an even bigger part of the issue, for me, is that many are covering the issue in an oversimplified, remedial way.
We continue to limit the issue to the point of being counterproductive. Like, this is so much more than white men’s relationship to Black and other non-white men. Seeing “No Blacks, No Asians” in a Grindr profile is just one part of a greater issue of how the construct of whiteness manifests itself in LGBTQ spaces. We focus so much on the exclusion from WhiteGayze™ via dating/hookup apps (and sometimes gay bars…although, even that’s not sufficiently covered) that we don’t adequately examine how that exclusion takes shape in ways that yield even greater consequence.
We also always limit the conversation to gay men. We rarely ever see this topic discussed in a way that centers Lesbians and other Queer women. And we absolutely can’t assume that Black, Queer women experience LGBTQ racism the same way that Queer men, do.
And even just in terms of dating/hookups, we often don’t properly examine the flipside of exclusion: fetishization. Yes, being excluded for race sucks, but from my viewpoint, being sought after by people who feel entitled to my attention and seem to think I should be appreciative of their dehumanizing, stereotypical and racist advances is far more agitating. At least with exclusion, I’m largely being left the fuck alone…and given that I’m currently in a place where I’m not centering whiteness or seeking its attention, that exclusion is something I hardly ever notice or even care about, anymore. Meanwhile, being sought after to be fetishized is something that I still have to regularly deal with. It speaks to the entitlement of whiteness, which I, personally, find to be a greater issue than them not wanting to date or fuck me.
And to be clear, it’s not that I don’t think there’s value in discussing this issue, in and of itself. I think we can absolutely examine the prejudice of assuming you’ll never find a minority race attractive, purely based on loosely-defined, arbitrary definitions. The problem is, I just don’t think there’s much value in how it’s discussed. Again, the issue is being examined in such a remedial, superficial way and it’s not being properly related back to the far greater issue of white supremacy and all of the ways it shows itself within LGBTQ spaces. OK…so, we’re focusing on WhiteGayze™ who are exclusionary of POC, but like, what’s the end goal? Is it to make white people magically find me attractive? If so, I’m good. Truthfully, the bulk of WhiteGayze™ are only capable of engaging us in terms of race first, and then as people…maybe (see the previous paragraph on fetishization). Therefore, gaining greater visibility to them is not attention that I want…at least, not as long as they’re refusing to examine the issues around race in a more substantive way.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Ultimately, I think white people opting to discuss the exclusion issue in this way often serves to feed their own ego and/or further treat the angst of POC like a form of entertainment…similarly to how we discuss any other, random trend in media. It just reeks of faux-concern, to me. Especially when many of those same white people will still engage in gaslighting and abuse towards POC when we try to bring up the bigger issues.
And funny thing is, many WhiteGayze™ will probably respond to this with complete and utter contempt (i.e. “Well, maybe I’ll just not care about your issues, at all!”)…which would just prove my point, entirely. The issues around race in the LGBTQ community, as well as issues specific to Black LGBTQ folks and other LGBTQ POC, are so much bigger than the “it’s just a preference” crowd. And until we’re willing to fully examine how the “No Blacks, No Asians” issue fits into the larger picture, it’s ultimately just beating a dead horse.
Hence my personal desire to retire this topic. Much like with engaging whiteness, in general, I feel like I’ve done my part. There are plenty of Black/POC Queer folks who will wanna continue taking up the issue, and that’s certainly your prerogative, but I’m good. Not only are there much bigger issues around white supremacy within the LGBTQ community to tackle, but I think we’re overdue to de-center whiteness in our day-to-day existence, altogether. I’ve personally found myself far more fulfilled in seeking out relationships and connections with Black and Brown, Queer folks completely away from the white gaze. It gives much greater clarity and self-affirmation. We, as Black LGBTQ people, are so much more than our relationship to whiteness.
…let me repeat that…
Black LGBTQ people are so much more than our relationship to whiteness.
Black LGBTQ people are so much more than our relationship to whiteness.
Black LGBTQ people are so much more than our relationship to whiteness.
Black LGBTQ people are so much more than our relationship to whiteness.
Black LGBTQ people are so much more than our relationship to whiteness.
Frankly, if WhiteGayze™ aren’t checking for me, that’s just fine. I’m not really checking for them, either. ☕
P.S. Credit to Vocativ for the featured image. It’s actually an interesting article.
