Heterosexuality – Angry Black Hoemo

Navigating Friendships with Non-LGBTQ People

June 1, 2018 by Angry Black HoeMo

A PSA for my fellow Gay men, and perhaps anyone else in the LGBTQ community.

I’m gonna start this by laying out a little scenario:

Let’s say you’re a Gay man who primarily has non-LGBTQ (a.k.a. cisgender-heterosexual or “straight”) men as friends (which you likely applaud yourself for, daily…but that’s another issue). Y’all are just casually hanging out and they’re all talking about sex. They’re exchanging stories of their recent “conquests,” and are having an absolute ki. And then, you try to chime about your last sexual experience, in the exact same way that they just did.

…but you feel the good vibes noticeably drop. It gets awkward, and you immediately get the hint that you should back off from your story. You deflate, retreat into your own head (where you’ll likely quietly replay that moment in a cringeworthy loop), and let them take back over the conversation.

This is likely not an unfamiliar experience for Gay men who hang around folks who are non-LGBTQ. And many people’s go-to response may be to just roll with it and not see it as a big deal. But let’s be clear about one thing: [Read more…]

Why “Love is Love” Is Bullshit

June 13, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

Continuing the “Gay shit” for Pride 2017, I thought this would be a good time to revisit a rant I’ve made before. Of course, said rant, in its original form, is currently unavailable, because fuck Twitter. So, might as well recreate it in blog form. I wanna take this time to break down why “Love Is Love” is a terrible way to advocate for LGBTQ people. Particularly, since this recently popped up on my Facebook news feed:

As with most any other trendy form of activism, “Love is Love” seems innocent enough on its face. It’s another form of pushing the message of equality for LGBTQ people…to advocate that we’re “just like” the heteros.

…but here’s one issue with that: [Read more…]

De-Normalizing Heteros: Why I Don’t Use the Word “Straight”

May 12, 2017 by Angry Black HoeMo

Because my 2017 is about centering Queer shit.

In all of my learning (and unlearning), a lot of things that I once held as “normal” due to societal influence now make less sense. One of those things being our collective use of the word “straight.” What’s with that term and why is its usage so common? “Straight” is something that I’ve really taken notice of and have been interrogating internally over the last few months.

Over time, I’ve found myself being among those who find the term “straight” an to be an implication that heterosexuality is inherently “normal,” or the standard. And if that’s the standard, then is everything else wrong…or crooked? The notion of a man and woman (cisgender) as “the norm” seems incredibly archaic, given more modern understandings of sexuality and gender. We know that the ability to procreate isn’t limited to cisgender heterosexuality. We also know that the “nuclear” family structure is colonial bullshit. There are numerous, proven examples that family can take various forms where all involved can thrive—even if your sexual identity isn’t one that could conceive a child. Not to mention, there are cishet couples incapable of bearing children. Plus, given the rate of divorces among cis-hetero couples, it’s a pretty safe guess that the whole “nuclear” concept ain’t working for them, either.

Therefore, why the need to continue keeping heterosexuality at the center? [Read more…]