Angry Black Hoemo

Just a guy, striving to be a good person and an even better bottom

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Homos, Can We Fuck Without Gender Roles?

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It’s time to gently get to the bottom of all this Gay patriarchy (hehe…bottom).

So, I’ve been at this thot life for over a decade, now. And as someone who’s officially a fossil in “Gay Years” (i.e. 30 years old), I’ve amassed a good, collective idea of how men in “the scene” tend to carry out sexuality.

As anyone who’s followed my work knows, I’m all about relating everyday, “minor” shit to the systems that directly contribute to keeping folks oppressed. So, I wanna touch on the gender binary & patriarchy and how they’re internalized among Gay/Queer/SGL men.

Many of us homos are familiar with this persistent need to designate “The Man” and “The Woman” in any kind of pairing between two people of the same gender. With regards to men, the Bottom (the party who engages in the receptive position during intercourse) is considered “The Woman.” The Top (the party who engages in the penetrative position) is considered “The Man.”  This patriarchal mentality has materialized itself in many different ways that are impossible to cover in one piece, by one person. But I’m gonna go over just some of the ways this tends to affect us sexually, since, again, I’ve got well over a decade of experience in that area. [Read more…]

De-Normalizing Heteros: Why I Don’t Use the Word “Straight”

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Because my 2017 is about centering Queer shit.

In all of my learning (and unlearning), a lot of things that I once held as “normal” due to societal influence now make less sense. One of those things being our collective use of the word “straight.” What’s with that term and why is its usage so common? “Straight” is something that I’ve really taken notice of and have been interrogating internally over the last few months.

Over time, I’ve found myself being among those who find the term “straight” an to be an implication that heterosexuality is inherently “normal,” or the standard. And if that’s the standard, then is everything else wrong…or crooked? The notion of a man and woman (cisgender) as “the norm” seems incredibly archaic, given more modern understandings of sexuality and gender. We know that the ability to procreate isn’t limited to cisgender heterosexuality. We also know that the “nuclear” family structure is colonial bullshit. There are numerous, proven examples that family can take various forms where all involved can thrive—even if your sexual identity isn’t one that could conceive a child. Not to mention, there are cishet couples incapable of bearing children. Plus, given the rate of divorces among cis-hetero couples, it’s a pretty safe guess that the whole “nuclear” concept ain’t working for them, either.

Therefore, why the need to continue keeping heterosexuality at the center? [Read more…]

Queerness and Personal Autonomy: Why I’m No Longer Calling Malcolm X Bisexual

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The topic of Malcolm X’s sexuality is one that comes up every now and again on social media. The most recent resurgence of the topic came about amidst the peak of the magical hashtag #BlackGaySlay. Some tweets came up giving a shout-out to Malcolm X with the hashtag, citing his alleged Bisexuality. Predictably (because this happens every time the topic comes up), this sent the homophobes into a tizzy (example). Initially, I was largely in on going at the bigots about their biphobia and homophobia, asserting Malcolm X’s Queerness. But after spending some time sorting it out in my head, I had to come to realization that that’s kinda bullshit. Here’s why I’m making the personal call to bow out of claiming Malcolm X as Queer or Bisexual…

It’s known that Malcolm X did make a living as a sex worker for male clients in his younger years, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to an actual attraction to men. Regardless of what Malcolm may have done, he never actually said he was Bisexual. One of the more crucial aspects of sexuality and gender identity is having the autonomy to ID oneself as they feel comfortable doing. I think one thing Queer people can, virtually unanimously, agree on is we don’t like having others try to define our sexual identity for us…and it’s something most all of us have had to deal with at some point. So, why would we turn around and define someone else’s sexuality for them—especially when he’s not alive to accept or decline it? It feels a bit hypocritical. [Read more…]

The Bigots Are Right: The HIV Epidemic Among Black, Gay Men is from Immorality

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…but not in the way they’d like to think.

So, at the time of this being published, we’re 2 weeks from National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. I think this is as good of a time as any to finally do a piece tackling the subject of HIV/AIDS among Black men who sleep with men (or MSM in scientific terms). I was motivated to write about this after coming across this documentary on the epidemic levels of HIV among Black, Gay men in Jackson, MS. This started as a thread on Twitter, but I felt this topic was more than due the attention of a full post.

Plus, I just recently passed my 3-year “Poz-aversary” (yes…I just made that up), so I’ll always be heavily invested.


Thanks to follower Taji for sending me this great documentary

When we talk about the HIV/AIDS epidemic among Gay men, in general, there’s often an air of (homophobia-driven) judgement and condescension, dripping with implications that any of us who contract the virus “deserve it” for our “immoral” behavior. And when you add in the racism of addressing Black, Gay men, that attitude only grows…even from other Gay men.

Now, for argument’s sake, let’s entertain that this idea of HIV being an issue of “immorality” among us, might actually have some merit, and isn’t complete and total bullshit. Even if we wanted to go along with that idea, that perhaps, Black Gay men see higher rates of HIV/AIDS due to “immorality,” well…maybe so…but it’s not immorality on our part. [Read more…]

Ask the HoeMo #1: Queer Sexuality

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So, I’ve decided to try something different with my blog, by taking questions from followers and answering them, here. Doing this for a few reasons:

  1. Making my online presence more interactive, as a lot of the time, I feel like I’m just talking at people.
  2. Letting followers drive more of the content, which can keep things interesting and fresh
  3. Gives me something to do during dry phases where I may not have particular things in mind to expand on beyond a brief Facebook post or Twitter thread.

And the first topic I’m starting with is something easy: SEXUALITY. Particularly, sexuality that centers around Queer men, mainly because it’s something easy and innate for me (where I’ve done the bulk of my critical observation and personal theories and analysis throughout my 20’s). And in addition to the 3 objectives above, I also wanted to use this as a way to outline one of my goals for my work in 2017, where I expand my blog into more of a sex-positive space. So, here we are, today!

And without further ado… [Read more…]