Angry Black Hoemo

Just a guy, striving to be a good person and an even better bottom

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Bottoming 101 (Patreon Preview)

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Y’all have long been asking for it, and it’s Pride Month 2019. So, I figured it’s the right time to finally get this one out of the drafts. These are just a few of my best bottoming tips for beginners. Let’s dive right in (pun intended)!

Have a partner who’s not an asshole

(Pun not intended, here)

While I don’t think a romantic, or otherwise conventionally “deep,” connection is necessary to have great sex, I do think good sexual chemistry with partners matters a lot (and let’s be clear that sexual and romantic connections aren’t one and the same). And ensuring you’re with someone who will be empathetic and patient, and (understanding that you’re new to this) will prioritize your pleasure. Having someone who can routinely check in, ask how you’re feeling, listen to basic cues, read body language, make necessary adjustments, etc. will make for a much smoother experience.

Don’t believe the lie that sex has to be bad the first time. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you should settle into it and it shouldn’t be outright painful.

Lube. Lube. Lube.

Someday, you might graduate to the level where spit is all you need…but that day is not today. Use lube. Periodt. [Read more…]

Total Tops Are Cancelled for 2018

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At 30 years old, I’ve been on this “Gay thot” shit for a good while and have amassed a lot of observations about Gay sexuality and how we tend to operate. It’s mostly been some great, if not epic, times had, but man…

To paraphrase SZA, top niggas do not deserve bussy.

I wanna close out 2017 by calling in all of you total tops and highlight a few of your common behaviors that you really need to cut. Bottoms are fed up, and it’s time for you to do better or get left assless.

Let’s plunge right into it (FYI, this piece might have a few puns…you’re gonna deal with that).

[Read more…]

Why “Love is Love” Is Bullshit

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Continuing the “Gay shit” for Pride 2017, I thought this would be a good time to revisit a rant I’ve made before. Of course, said rant, in its original form, is currently unavailable, because fuck Twitter. So, might as well recreate it in blog form. I wanna take this time to break down why “Love Is Love” is a terrible way to advocate for LGBTQ people. Particularly, since this recently popped up on my Facebook news feed:

“In June we celebrate love.” …tuh

As with most any other trendy form of activism, “Love is Love” seems innocent enough on its face. It’s another form of pushing the message of equality for LGBTQ people…to advocate that we’re “just like” the heteros.

…but here’s one issue with that: [Read more…]

HIV Stigma: A(nother) Tool of Homophobia & Direct Enemy of Prevention

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It didn’t even take one week on the new Twitter account for representatives from the Child Support Is the Enemy of The Black Man™ contingent of Twitter to make its way into my mentions with this mess:

Pictured: Niggas who don’t read

First of all, if you’re referring to HIV as “the finisher” in 2017, you have no room in these conversations. It’s been commonly known, for years, that HIV, when diagnosed and treated early, can yield normal life expectancy. Never mind that it’s probably AIDS that you’re thinking about, not HIV. For that matter, if you still don’t know that HIV & AIDS aren’t the same thing, you should also have a few seats. Also, people who imply that HIV+ people “deserve” to die because of “sexual deviancy” are their own, special brand of evil.

Second, I see this kind of rhetoric from cishets regularly. It plagued my mentions on @angryblackhoemo, and will likely follow me, for as long as I have a social media presence, in general. But let’s be perfectly clear: this has absolutely nothing to do with “concern” or HIV prevention. [Read more…]

Homos, Can We Fuck Without Gender Roles?

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It’s time to gently get to the bottom of all this Gay patriarchy (hehe…bottom).

So, I’ve been at this thot life for over a decade, now. And as someone who’s officially a fossil in “Gay Years” (i.e. 30 years old), I’ve amassed a good, collective idea of how men in “the scene” tend to carry out sexuality.

As anyone who’s followed my work knows, I’m all about relating everyday, “minor” shit to the systems that directly contribute to keeping folks oppressed. So, I wanna touch on the gender binary & patriarchy and how they’re internalized among Gay/Queer/SGL men.

Many of us homos are familiar with this persistent need to designate “The Man” and “The Woman” in any kind of pairing between two people of the same gender. With regards to men, the Bottom (the party who engages in the receptive position during intercourse) is considered “The Woman.” The Top (the party who engages in the penetrative position) is considered “The Man.”  This patriarchal mentality has materialized itself in many different ways that are impossible to cover in one piece, by one person. But I’m gonna go over just some of the ways this tends to affect us sexually, since, again, I’ve got well over a decade of experience in that area. [Read more…]