As a sexually liberated Gay man, there’s one staple of “Gay culture” that I’ve been quite fond of over the years: Cruising. Cruising has given me opportunities to explore myself sexually and, in turn, learn about myself, as a whole (or a whole hoe…either works). Not to mention, it just makes sex that much more fun. However, there’s a few common things I’ve seen and experienced in cruising spaces that confuse me, if not put me off. I feel like I’m not alone in any of these, so let’s share:
I was just browsing Twitter, minding my own business (prolly browsing thirst traps), when I came across this:
This is just the latest in an ongoing trend of police departments showing how “down” they are with the Gays.
(If you’ve followed my work for any length of time, you likely know what’s coming)
Granted, this really isn’t much unlike any other performative showing of solidarity or “allyship.” But there’s something especially insidious about police adopting this display. Let’s break it down, shall we? [Read more…]
Continuing the “Gay shit” for Pride 2017, I thought this would be a good time to revisit a rant I’ve made before. Of course, said rant, in its original form, is currently unavailable, because fuck Twitter. So, might as well recreate it in blog form. I wanna take this time to break down why “Love Is Love” is a terrible way to advocate for LGBTQ people. Particularly, since this recently popped up on my Facebook news feed:
As with most any other trendy form of activism, “Love is Love” seems innocent enough on its face. It’s another form of pushing the message of equality for LGBTQ people…to advocate that we’re “just like” the heteros.
…but here’s one issue with that: [Read more…]
It’s time to gently get to the bottom of all this Gay patriarchy (hehe…bottom).
So, I’ve been at this thot life for over a decade, now. And as someone who’s officially a fossil in “Gay Years” (i.e. 30 years old), I’ve amassed a good, collective idea of how men in “the scene” tend to carry out sexuality.
As anyone who’s followed my work knows, I’m all about relating everyday, “minor” shit to the systems that directly contribute to keeping folks oppressed. So, I wanna touch on the gender binary & patriarchy and how they’re internalized among Gay/Queer/SGL men.
Many of us homos are familiar with this persistent need to designate “The Man” and “The Woman” in any kind of pairing between two people of the same gender. With regards to men, the Bottom (the party who engages in the receptive position during intercourse) is considered “The Woman.” The Top (the party who engages in the penetrative position) is considered “The Man.” This patriarchal mentality has materialized itself in many different ways that are impossible to cover in one piece, by one person. But I’m gonna go over just some of the ways this tends to affect us sexually, since, again, I’ve got well over a decade of experience in that area. [Read more…]
Because my 2017 is about centering Queer shit.
In all of my learning (and unlearning), a lot of things that I once held as “normal” due to societal influence now make less sense. One of those things being our collective use of the word “straight.” What’s with that term and why is its usage so common? “Straight” is something that I’ve really taken notice of and have been interrogating internally over the last few months.
Over time, I’ve found myself being among those who find the term “straight” an to be an implication that heterosexuality is inherently “normal,” or the standard. And if that’s the standard, then is everything else wrong…or crooked? The notion of a man and woman (cisgender) as “the norm” seems incredibly archaic, given more modern understandings of sexuality and gender. We know that the ability to procreate isn’t limited to cisgender heterosexuality. We also know that the “nuclear” family structure is colonial bullshit. There are numerous, proven examples that family can take various forms where all involved can thrive—even if your sexual identity isn’t one that could conceive a child. Not to mention, there are cishet couples incapable of bearing children. Plus, given the rate of divorces among cis-hetero couples, it’s a pretty safe guess that the whole “nuclear” concept ain’t working for them, either.
Therefore, why the need to continue keeping heterosexuality at the center? [Read more…]